Gillian Wightman

2009-02-05T15:00:00.001-08:00

Can you believe its February already? I feel like my feet haven't touched the ground since the beginning of the year, so much has happened, more of which I will share later.

We started the year of getting my long awaited new kitchen. My darling husband is multi talented so felt quite confident about his kitchen fitting skills. Unfortunately his measurings skills were not so great and I found him one morning at the very beginning of the year nervously telling me that he had mismeasured by 3cm and I had no room for my dishwasher. A perfect moment to employ my much treasured Tap 'n' Rant method. I have discovered however that washing the dishes is a deeply enjoyable, grounding and relaxing experience. It was only this weekend that I discovered that it is used as a form of meditation, which makes sense, although for me its more a relaxation experience.

How is that for a perfect reframe! I read a great piece of advice recently which was to banish negative language from my vocabulary (MUCH harder than I thought it would be). I decided to exchange the word 'problem' for 'situation'. So the other night I had the opportunity to inform him of my 'situation'. I had forgotten to pay the balance for our holiday to Austria and we were being told that we were not getting access to our cabin (I know, it feels like I just got back from the last one but we are skiing addicts and its good for family bonding!) However this was a good time to employ my second new technique. Don't fret and worry, just ask the question! I have discovered that much of my time spent worrying is imagining what people will say. I phoned the gentleman who owns our cabin and he suggested I fax or scan the bank tranfer details and all would be fine. Very easy really. And Tim is talking to me again:) Reminding myself that I had a situation to deal with and could do that by talking to the person involved and getting advice in how to handle the problem stopped me from getting myself in a total tizz and I didn't even need to tap. I keep that for when I have a real problem:)

My Personal Tapping Journey

This has been a big month for me, I got three articles published, two EFT Radio Interviews and invited to speak at an EFT Gathering in Ilkley on the subject of using EFT for extreme anxiety conditions.

If you missed them here they are, they are far more personal than client case studies and I am really delighted that some of you are here on my mailing list because of the articles.

http://www.emofree.com/Articles2/grief-into-beauty.htm

http://www.emofree.com/Articles2/enhance-figure-gillian.htm

This article was published on Friday morning, just before I was appearing before 120 EFT practitioners. Guess what everyone wanted to talk to me about:) Fantastic timing!

As well as being invited to speak at the EFT Gathering I was also invited by two leading EFT practitioners to do interviews on my use of EFT for my grief and for my acute anxiety condition. Many people have told me they found them inspirational so I hope you enjoy them. You can find them here on my website:-

http://www.eastneuktherapies.co.uk/pages/my-eft-interviews.php

Replies to questions about my articles

I have been literally inundated with questions on what specific set up phrases I use to achieve bustline growth. If you go back over my article you will see that I had to tap on many issues, but where I started was how I felt about how I looked in the first place.

The first step for any issue is to work on our feelings about having the problem. For any of you wishing to do this work I would really suggest becoming aware of how you feel about yourself now, imagine how you would like to look and be aware of any tail enders about that and then just start to be aware of your 'becauses'. We all have our own answers within us and if we give ourselves a little space and ask ourselves the question

'I have this problem because.....' and see what pops up then we have some good tapping information there.

For a little more encouragement I found these specific articles:

http://www.emofree.com/Articles2/bustline-enhancement.htm

http://www.emofree.com/Articles2/bust-line-growth-seasson.htm

For those who asked about my tapping about the dementia issue. I really concentrated on tapping for all my fears, all the what if's. After a while the fear started to fade. I also started a gratitude practice, which keeps me focused on what is positive and what I do have, rather than what is negative and what I don't have.

I also have noticed that with dementia the real feelings come out so I decided the more tapping I do know, if the worst every did happen, I hope all my anger will be gone and I can be sweet!

I did find some interesting information about the possible emotional causes of dementia which I will share here.

Doctor R.G. Hamer, founder of German New Medicinehas an interesting viewpoint on Alzheimer's Disease. He believes that Alzheimer's is a disruption of memory brought on by a separation conflict. In children, this manifests as ADD. This is a sort of survival mechanism, as it helps humans to cope with the emotional distress (ie, it is better to forget, rather than to be plagued by those feelings of separation). This makes perfect sense to me in terms of my parents experience.

Training Courses

Finally! Elaine and I decided tonight on 16 and 17 March for our long awaited Level 2. I do appreciate your patience but this seems a good wait for many of us. Please indicate to me your interest in this course. As you have had to wait I am going to offer you all a discounted price, to show you my appreciation and the course will be £175 instead of £200.

To whet your appetite Level 2 Practitioner Status (pending satisfactory cases studies) will include:

This workshop takes your EFT skills to AAMET Practitioner standard. Teaching, demonstration and practical exercises lead to a deeper understanding of the EFT process and we cover EFT by telephone, clearing limiting beliefs, finding core issues, further techniques for trauma, using EFT with groups, with children and for animals. EFT Level One is a prerequisite for this workshop. Includes telephone support, case review and AAMET Practitioner certificate.

We cover:

More about the effects and the neuroscience of traumatic memory and more EFT techniques for clearing those effects such as the Tearless Trauma technique and the Tell the Story technique

The EFT gentle techniques namely, Chasing the Pain and Sneaking Up for when directly accessing the problem could lead to an emotional hi-jack

Techniques for finding Core Issues or the earlier experiences that set a pattern of response. Impicit and explicit memory and how emotionally held memories are triggered.

Testing results. How we can be sure that our work is complete and give the client confidence that change has taken place.

Gary Craig's concept of the Palace of Possibilities which gives us a model for working with EFT to free ourselves from limiting beliefs arising from childhood expereince.

How to help others with EFT by Telephone and how to decide if telephone work is appropriate.

Using EFT for groups and the Borrowing Benefits process.

Helping animals with EFT

I am delighted to have made contact with Maggie McKeen of the Synergy Centre in Glenrothes and will be scheduling further workshops starting in April.

Finally

I have a new website www.gillian.myeftwebsite.com. It has a blog where I am putting my newsletters so if you would like to comment on this newsletter please do so at

http://eastneuktherapies.blogspot.com/ I'd love to hear from you.

Or drop by and say hi and sign my guestbook at

http://www.eastneuktherapies.co.uk/pages/guestbook.php

Happy tapping

Gill

Just before I go

2008-12-25T21:15:00.001-08:00

I realise my newsletters are like waiting for a bus, you wait for ages and then two come along at once! However I am inspired to take this opportunity to send out a quick message before I go on holiday as I am finding some ways of using EFT personally useful right now. We all need ways to cope with the monsters in our head and don't always have the time to get to core issues.

This form of tapping literally saved the day for my son last night when he found himself feeling so stressed about his algebra exam today he was actually ill. I had to Tap and Rant about the Maths teacher who told him that if he failed today he could say goodbye to any prospect of a good job. He is 14! I wasn't entirely sure that he felt comforted by the fact I don't have Advanced Higher Maths.

Using this technique calmed him down and it enabled him to understand how to do his algebra, as the stress had been switching his brain down. Algebra is unique in that you have to employ both sides of the brain at once. I learnt alot of interesting facts lately about left/right brain integration in boys. But if I start on that I will never stop, maybe I will keep that one for next time!

"IF"

If is a word of future possibility.

"Anxiety is fear of what hasn't happened yet"

Anxiety is generated by imagining the worst of future possibility and then experiencing the emotions of imagining the consequences. The emotion generated prevents clear thinking and the imagine event seems real.

We can use IF or EVEN IF to apply EFT to the future.

ie "Even if I get made redundant I truly and deeply accept myself'.

"If no client ever calls me I'll handle it.

Question for the consequences, keep asking "and if that happens what's the worst about that"

"Even if I am really nervous and don't pass my driving tests and even if I'm to scared to try again and even if all the girls laugh at me because I can't drive and even if I never get married and I live my life all alone, I still accept myself anyway.

Its a great technique when our over active imagination runs away with us and can work very well as a support to our long term personal peace procedure and core work.

Apart from this, this was the first time in a long time he has approached me for tapping and at the end said, you know that EFT stuff, it really works! It seems to as he was perfectly fine this morning and was humming in the car on the way to school.

EFT TRAINING COURSES

I have been approached by Synergy Centre in Glenrothes to run EFT Training courses from their studios, which is an exciting opportunity for next year. The AAMET have been making some positive changes and I am very pleased with the progress of the new structure so far.

As far as the present intended Level 2 goes, Elaine is still keen to host this in her home and I am happy to fit in with whatever feels good for the majority of the group.

I will be available after mid-February and right through March. I would prefer the training to be a Monday/Tuesday which fits in best with the rest of my life.

Please contact me and register your interest for a spring Level 2 Workshop and we can arrange a suitable date. I will be making the soup again:)

ELAINE'S NEW BOOK!!!

Talking of Elaine, who's help and encouragement in getting going with the training classes and excellent business advice got my website up and running, I would like to let you know of her exciting new project.

I was privileged to be given the opportunity to read a pre-publishing draft on a novel she has co-written. I really did enjoy the novel and knowing alot of you personally I know it would be a thought provoking read, as it was for me, as well as encouraging you to continue in your personal healing journeys. It helped me to see that all this hard healing work is worth it eventually! Also as some of you are writers or aspiring writers her story might inspire you personally.

For more information and to order the book go to http://www.mirrenjones.co.uk/

STRESS MANAGEMENT

Finally, whatever your plans are for the next few weeks I hope they go well and that you will remember to tap when you feel the stress levels rising. This time of year is reputed to be when family tensions are at their highest so remember my favourite technique Tap and Rant, which I mentioned at the beginning, when you feel the pressure cooker building up. Don't worry about set ups, just take yourself to a safe place and let rip and tap at the same time. Its SOOOO good:)

I read an interesting comment from someone the other day who only allows moaning in their house as long as the person is tapping. Moaning is moaning, moaning and tapping is very effective! Try it.

Best wishes

Gillian

Novembers newsletter

2008-12-25T21:14:00.001-08:00

I am going to start this of with an apology, this originally started of as Octobers newsletters and then, aluding to Septembers, we went down a bit of a white water rapid when my grandfather became very ill. The I found myself in November dealing with the one year anniversary of my mothers death and to be honest had to take some time out to deal with that. Combining work, family, my forum duties (possibly an addiction) and coping with myself I never got quite round to this.

So this morning I got down to it and I cannot believe what happened, got to the end of a long and interesting post (well I think so anyway) and my husband came to check the webcams in Lillehammer and closed it down before saving it!!! We are of to Norway in the middle of December skiing (yay) so have a hunch it might be January before you hear from me again.

I am just about to leave to go to visit my sister and her family for a few days, her story was features in my article, and I am desperately trying to get this finished before I leave for the airport

http://www.emofree.com/Articles2/caesarean-aspects.htm

To be honest by the time I get back it will be December and not a hope of pretending this was Novembers newsletter. So I have decided that for whatever reason this happened, it means I will keep it short and sweet and just send it, at last!

I thought it would be good to share with you some of the tips I used to cope with this rather frightening couple of weeks when my grandfather was so ill and how I dealt with the 1st anniversary of my mothers death with EFT as these are the two reasons you haven't heard from me.

Firstly, when I first got the phone call I was in the middle of a very pleasant lunch where I had been showing some friends the wonderful anniversary present my sons had given us, a photo book which included photographs of us before we were married, our wedding and them as babies - the best present ever! When you get a phone call like that it is a shock to the system, one minute your relaxed and happy and the next BAM! Its not good! My immediate response to this, which has now become second nature was to perform the EFT 4 point shortcut for trauma.

It is very simple. All you have to do is tap:-

Eyebrow point, Under Eye point, Collar Bone point and Under Arm point

No words are necessary, just keep tapping, over and over until you start to feel calm and you can breathe again. Its always best to take action with a clear head and calm spirit.

Going to the hospital was a challenge as I have so many unhappy memories from there and I could feel myself getting tense as I approached the entrance.

Tapping at the best of times looks silly, tapping walking through a crowded hospital might have got me into trouble! I fell back on Top Tip No 2. When you can't tap on your face and body continuous tapping on your fingertips does the trick. An even quicker way to do it is to tap the entire underside of the wrist, the back of the wrist and the back of the hand over the gamut point.

For more information on using this wordless form of tapping you can check out

http://www.eftdownunder.com/SET.html

By tapping constantly as I walked through the hospital I felt I was taking care of all stray thoughts and feelings that were arising and I felt very calm and in control by the time I reached him. Fortunately he is out of the woods at the moment but I had to do alot of tapping around the fact that he was not best pleased with that. It is very difficult to see your loved ones feel like has no meaning and I am not sure he has been able to cope with the loss of my mother. EFT really has been invaluable in helping me cope with these painful situations.

Some of the difficulties I have had around my mothers death were the way the staff behaved which I felt made things less than perfect. I have worked with some of you on how your birth plans went wrong, well my mothers death plan went wrong, and I suffered a similar depression because of it.

I have done alot of ranting and expressive tapping about the people involved so now comes my Top Tip No 3. Tap and Rant. Instead of worrying about all the usual 'Even though I.....I deeply and completely accept myself' just throw that out the window, get yourself to a quiet and unobserved place (that my be Top Tip No 4) and just let rip and get it all out of your system, but do remember to tap. This isn't shouting and swearing for the sake of it. Always have the intention of being able to come to a better more peaceful place, but you can take care of just exaclty why they don't deserve for you to let this anger, and all the exquisitly painful things you may feel tempted to do to them and pretty soon you will feel much calmer and more rational and then you may be able to move on to an idea I used to great effect which was mentioned in a recent newsletter

http://www.emofree.com/Articles2/internal-parents.htm

While this technique is for working with memories of parents it is based on Gestalt therapy and is a great way to help you gain insight into someone elses actions which makes it much easier to forgive and let go and accept they were doing the best they could. I used this technique to take on the perspective of the doctor and the nurses and the results were amazing. I had a very rewarding discussion with the doctor which allowed me to have my feelings heard, I received the apology I needed and also the gift of his respect. He was very impressed by the change from the very angry letter I first wrote (which in fact was cathartic in itself and was enough to lift me from the depression).

I am very happy to say the result of this experience and interview is that real change is to be implemented in the nursing home to allow Registered General nurses working in a dementia unit the correct end of life training. They really had done the best they could given that they had no real understanding of what happens towards the end of her specific dementia my mother had and they have also taken on board the need to actually listen to relatives. This may be a situation more than one of you relate to and using EFT for these issues really has eased my grief and I do feel a great deal of peace.

My test for this, I was finally able to have her tombstone engraved for the 1st anniversary and it had been previously impossible for me to do so. I think I always knew there was unfinished business.

Anger, when its directed and used in the right way can be a powerful way to make positive change. Anger in itself is not a 'bad' emotion, how it can be expressed and held on to however can make it harmful and for me I experienced depression, alot of back, neck, shoulder and jaw pain and mouth ulcers. Life is alot easier without it!

EFT FORUM

Hmm, short and sweet, maybe not. For those of you who read any of my forum posts, you know I don't do that well!

For those of you who have not yet experienced the joys of the forum, I would recommend you log on via www.emofree.com

There you will find a wealth of advice on what to do when your own tapping isn't going so well and you can find a great wealth of support and compassion from EFT professionals who volunteer their time, to very excellent and dedicated self helpers.

EFT TRAINING AND CERTIFICATION

I am very proud to tell you I am the first person in UK to be 'certified'! That is Certified by Gary Craig for Level 1 in his new, demanding exam. It was tough and I am very proud of my achievement.

I would recommend everyone to get the DVD course to work through in conjunction with any workshop training you decide to do. The combination of the two will be very powerful.

In terms of my own training, perhaps because of the above, and also due to the circumstances of my prospective Level 2 students, the November course was cancelled and will be rescheduled for the New Year, this will allow some of the others who wanted to wait till then to join the group so hopefully will work out well for everyone.

Well, I do need to go and pack my bags now!

I hope this has given you some tips and maybe encourages you to get back to doing your own tapping! I would be lost without it.

Gillian

Septembers newsletter

2008-12-25T21:13:00.001-08:00

This very first edition of my monthly newsletter has been sent to you as either you have signed up for it via my website or you are a previous client or workshop attendant. I did write to some of you with details of my teleclass and announced my intention to write a newsletter.

I can't believe its the 22nd September already, my intention was to write at the beginning of the month but I have had a busy month and taken a little time out for my own healing - I will mention that later. I noticed I was putting off doing this so I used the exercise below and now I have found what I am going to write about!

* GOING WITH THE FLOW

* GRIEF IS MOURNING SICKNESS

* TRAINING NEWS AND DATES FOR LEVEL 2

GOING WITH THE FLOW

Last weekend I had the opportunity to go white water rafting. It was a great experience and I had alot of fun. I even had the distinction of being one of only two people who managed to run all the way round the outside of the raft and back to my place without falling in!

As we went down the river it was interesting to observe how the boat when with the flow and what it felt like when one side paddled harder than the other and turned us round reversing the direction. To be able to go with the flow is something I have found I have had to learn to do. Life takes us in directions we really would rather prefer not to at times, including a few white knuckle rapids but at those times fighting against what is happening only serves to make us more emotionally drained and exhausted.

Going with the flow can help us to make the best of whatever is happening. I learnt a great exercise which helps give a sense of how to do this and increase our sense of wellbeing.

Imagine a still river. Imagine it was warm enough to go swimming. Now imagine getting in and lying in the river. If you do so you will start to get an idea pretty quickly of which way the river is flowing, maybe the ripples on one side of the grass, or a little leaf floating down. Most people feel strain as their predominant way of noticing how life is going. They feel sensitive to the strain, they feel stressed and pummelled. If we are trying to swim upstream we will tire quickly and not feel like we are getting anywhere, its like everything is fighting against us.

Or imagine you have taken a wrong turn and gone up a one way street. How long does it take you to work out your going the wrong way?

Its not supposed to feel good or relaxed and calm if your swimming in the wrong direction. If we get in tune with ourselves we can get a sense of which way we are flowing with life. Whatever is happening going in the right direction is going to be easier.

If we go against our intuition and say' Yes' when our body and heart are saying 'No, I can't do that right now' then we will feel it very strongly.

Practice with this exercise

If you need a reminder where the points are just check out my website:

http://www.eastneuktherapies.co.uk/pages/eft-for-self-help.php

Take one item from your 'To Do' list thats been on the list for about a week! Notice where you feel the tension in your body.

Notice what the emotion might be on the To Do item. Do you feel irritable, resistant, uneasy. Those are the signs that you would be going against the flow.

* KC Even though I am irritated, I don't even want to do it, I shouldn't have to do it, it should be easier, but I am just not ready to do it and I don't even want to and that's OK, I am going to relax and go with the flow.

* SE What does it mean?

* UE Am I blocking myself?

* UN Am I making it hard?

* CH Am I supposed to do it?

* KB It doesn't feel like right now

* UA It doesn't feel like yes right now

* TH So I am going to relax and go with the flow

Deep Breathe. Check in how you feel.

Maybe it doesn't feel so important to do right now and its ok to leave it and maybe when the time comes it will be easier to do.

What if it has to be done and it feels like a really big deal? Sometimes when we get really stressed things seem so much harder, get out of proportion and we just don't know where to start!

* KC Even though there are so many decisions to make, I feel like I am working so hard and not making any progress, it feels like I am swimming up stream I deeply and completely accept my effort and I have decided to relax for a few moments

* EB I have been working hard

* SE Worry is hard work!

* UE Stress is hard work

* UN I am working very very hard and not getting anywhere

* CH What if it were easier?

* KB What if the stream were running in the opposite direction?

* UA It would feel easier

* TH I am going to relax for a moment and go with the flow

GRIEF IS MOURNING SICKNESS

Now I want to introduce you to something that has been an enormous help to me since the death of my mother in November and more recently since my uncle in early July.

You can join this programme by clicking on the link in Resources on the website.

* The Introductory Coaching Session

* The audio recording of an actual session I conducted with Paul, using the same phrases that you will have the benefit of in Session 1. This audio you can listen and tap along to,borrowing benefits before we start the actual Session.

* Full use of all SESSION 1 Self Discovery and Healing Exercises with no restrictions.

This includes:

· The Session Foundation Exercise –Clearing the NO's

· 12 Guided EFT Audios where you just follow me

Plus

· Our 3 Digging Deeper Tools

· 4 Printable Interactive Recording Tools

· Grief Is Mourning Sickness Healing Exercises Workbook - printable.

· A Live 60 minute Tele-Class with Jan to reinforce and support you in your healing process.

Finally, in future newsletters I intend to share with you success I have using EFT for myself or others, tips I have learned to make your own work more successful, special offers and resources or goodies I have found that I think you will enjoy.

One of these is a new website which is designed for people who want to find a tapping buddy. Check out http://tappingbuddies.net/index.asp

I would really love your feedback, what you would like to see, success stories you have had that you would like to share, or any other suggestions.

Well here we are, I have done it. You know after that round of tapping, it really didn't take that long. I am now going to use this to tackle the growing pile of paper work and general junk around my telephone which I never seem to get round to doing anything about!

Best wishes to you all. Please feel free to forward this to anyone who might be interested in any of this information.

Gill

ps. By the way I got a lot of positive feedback about my teleclass. For some of you it may have been a while since you worked with me, I have never stopped learning. You can listen in and see how I am doing now! Let me know what you think.

http://carna.audioacrobat.com/download/9a29f19b-f714-5f01-bac6-4498d40f72ce.mp3